Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ode to the Douchetooth...

What's up with these bluetooth headset things that every dork and douchebag are wearing now? I mean, I get why some people need them for driving, because driving with one hand is WAY too hard... but why do they insist on wearing them 24/7? Why do you need a dumb looking thing with a blinking blue light hanging off your ear while at dinner with your family on a Thursday night? And then you see the 50 year old ladies wearing them at a market... why? Who might call you... death?? Here's my ode to the Douchetooth...


"Hello... Mom... I'm ready to be picked up from Hobby City"


"Hey, check it out... I can finally talk to my boyfriend while playing John Mayer songs in the quad on my guitar!"


"Hi, Linda... can you stop by the cleaners and pick up my tweety bird leather jacket... thanks babe"


"Biiiiiiilllly.... I make poo poo"


"Hello... Death... I'm ready for you"


"Ya... I'm gonna need 2 fish, 5 loafs of bread, some manna, and a PBR Tallboy...."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe they have evolved into cyborgs! I love death calling! That's my favorite!

Unknown said...

Well the shitty thing is that the government have now decided that they need to nanny us and it will be the Law in July that we must have hands free cell phone use while driving. But yeah..the people that wear them all the time?!!! WTF?!! I think the term Cypborg might be too cool for these guys. I think it's more like Cydorks.

I don't know which one I like better, Hello Death or Jesus ordering a PBR Tallboy with his fishes and loaves of bread! hahaha

Liana Richman said...

OMG! I think I almost pissed my pants when I read this entry. It's so true and so hilarious. I think that the jokers that walk around with those look like cyborgs. They are all spys.....Plus you know what? Not once have seen them actually using it when they have it attached to their ear.